Friday, 17 July 2015

Allow Unicorns Now

When will governments finally grow some backbone and stand up to the anti-unicorn brigade?

The lack of unicorns is a crime against humanity, depriving countless children of the pleasure of having these cute little pets.

Worse, this is a hidden scandal because the unicorn haters never actually declare themselves or form organisations that we can demonise. They just proceed as if they have some kind of god-given right to avoid supporting unicorn research and the development of these wonderful creatures.

Everyone knows that unicorns are perfectly safe. That pointy bit on the front defines the unicorn but there is no peer-reviewed science that proves unicorns are any more dangerous than regular ponies. So don't even start whinneying about safety.

Honestly, the way people just flagrantly ignore them, its as if unicorns don't even exist. But they do. We have the pictures, concept drawings and plenty of market demand. Once the government stops blocking our funding there will be breeding plans. Unicorns are not quite market ready; I'll grant you that. But so what? I'm pretty sure that Patrick Moore will be keen to front our anti-anti-unicorn campaign too, after which success will inevitably follow.

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